Sunday, March 20, 2011

The Plight of the Multi Phobic Single Mom

Yes. It is true. I am fucked up. But, I am smart. How very fortunate for me that studies have shown that the truly high in IQ's are the ones most likely to suffer from these types of phobias and ocd's. Okay....but..... I'm still envious of the ignorant is bliss syndrome.

my cat of 15 years, how he annoys me!! forcing his love on me when all i want to do is brood! AND! being a stubborn oblivious feline, he resists when i loudly say scat or even when i push him away...he will simply velcro is body to the carpet and continue to purr and to continue to show me his love. at least my dog knows how to respect my space and my misery...

To all who were ever fired unjustly: KISS MY ASS FROM NORTH TO SOUTH, EAST TO WEST AND THEN UP YOUR OWN ASS TIL THE EVIL THAT IS YOU KEELS OVER FROM YOUR VERY OWN CORPORATE INFECTED STENCH

even layin' low, drama creeps in under my front door, laughing and pointing....I know life will always just do things TO me, but I want to do things WITH it...if not in the actual drivers seat, at least in the passenger seat...in my car of life, seems I've always chosen the safer, slower lanes or the easier, longer back routes--but watch out, think I just may have to move up to tailgater!! (just hope I have enough gas left in me!!)
waiting for a miracle...(is it REALLY ok to actually like myself now or to continue to wait for the julie i'm aspiring to be in the future...?) he said: i see no cause to wait. i replied: see, it's logic like that that seems to elude me, or even if i see it, i still seem to choose to ignore it... guess i've been in a funk for hmmmm the past 20 yrs or so...whoa how time flies when depression is my familiar counterpart! you are right though. maybe this is a new stage in my life! and i should just go for it..! scary tho...

had a visit from an old friend last night, one who i did NOT WANT TO SEE--name: anxiety. thank you heaven above for removing this "friend" from my home and my heart!

watching my youngest son, fumbling towards a vague future (as his dreams are not yet put into goals,) watching him miss opportunities, and hearing his negative, misguided beliefs in higher education and religion is nothing short of my heart breaking on a daily baisis...i find solace only in my faith that God has a plan for us all...

my question of the day: oh the agony of living, as well as the joy---i wonder...are both on equal grounds or does one or the other only get the upper hand if we allow it?

denzel's right: you GOTTA DO WHAT YA GOTTA DO so as eventually you can DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO! (much like myself, so many folk never do the "gotta do" part so end up never being able to do what they "want to do" part. pity.

why do people so easily (almost eagerly) believe in EVIL, --which by all accounts is Satan.....BUT YET, demand PROOF OF GOD?????? ( i say, look outside, and THERE'S your "proof" -- you demented fools.) luckily God has mercy even on the ignorant...

are illogical thoughtless people secretly evil geniuses OR simply oblivious true blue dumbasses???

my biggest pet peeve?? ok, when people say whatever rude thing they want (and usually totally mean it) AND THEN TRY AND BACK PADDLE and blame it ON YOU by saying bull like: oh i didn't mean it LIKE THAT, or, YOU took it the wrong way. blah blah blah either way THEY got to say whatever horrible thing they felt and then TRY and justify it by telling you it's YOUR fault for reacting negatively to it. what a load!

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